Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Pharmacy Mixes Up 9-Year-Old’s ADHD Medicine, Gives Him Opioid More Powerful Than Morphine - AOL.com

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Flipping two atoms in LSD turned it into a powerful treatment for damaged brain circuits - PsyPost

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do some people hesitate to say 'I love you' even after their partners have said it first? How can one interpret this behavior from their loved ones?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How do I come out as queer to my best friend in a funny and stupid way?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

—— which songs do certain kuorans remind you of?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What would it take for you to consider yourself a "Swiftie" like Flavor Flav?

I can read

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why does Christianity push reconciliation after a partner cheats? Mine had a 7-year affair with someone half my age. He cheated and lied. He is not the same to me.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Is it wrong that I picked to be a Christian (as a teenager/14-year-old) even with knowing all of the information about other religions/atheism?

I see through liars

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What's your wildest & weirdest fantasy?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Do many women shave their vaginas?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why has my ex moved on so fast after years of being together with me?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP